Love? What is it really?


So the day of red color is over now. It’s time to figure out whether we know what really love is? People, nowadays, don't know the meaning of love, don't understand what is unconditional love, don't care or don't know how to care other, forgotten the meaning of relationships. People want a relationship in their life, just for the sake of being committed and not feel being left alone or stand out. Some are too depressed to live a single life. There are even some people also who want a girl/boy in their life, just because they wish to say, "Yes, I have a girlfriend/boyfriend too".

This is so desperate and depressing. Why can’t people wait for their Mr. / Mrs. Right. Has this world become so fake and farce that people are ready to pretend that they are in love with somebody when in fact they don’t even care about them. Is this the part of evolution? I just worry sometimes that people will actually forget what it really is to be in love. What is that feeling where you wait for 1-2 hours just for someone to show-up. What is that feeling where you wake up with the cute good morning messages and reading them brings a joyous smile on your face. Don’t we want somebody who makes us chuckle through our nonsensical fits of anger and our crazy bouts of stupidity and silliness. Do we really want to live life with someone who doesn’t even know when we are happy and when we are sad. I think that being single is a hundred times better than being with a wrong person.

Now there are some people also who really wish to experience the magic, the beauty, the thrill of being in love. That feeling when you know that somebody out there is all yours. He/she is your day, your night, your everything.Now this is cool. But the problem they don't know is that when they fall in love with somebody and are in a relationship, they get caught in the web of emotional dependency – feeling high to see the love of their life, down in dumps when their love forgets to call back; day is made if their love pays a compliment, all is dark and dreary, if their  love doesn't living life from one phone call to another! I mean what is up with all these expectations. 

Now I am hearing some of you saying that Love without expectations exists only in poems and spirituality. In the real world, it's only a myth. And yes we expect love and expect in love. That gives life to the relationship and provides those beautiful moments (surprises and disappointments alike) that define us. But I think there must be a limit. Expectations like any other emotion should not exceed a certain limit or else they will gobble up the relation.

And last but not the least I just want to say that:
Yes we are human, and these things are a part and parcel of life. But there's a reason why the saintly preach. So stop banking on other humans for your well being – be it emotional or physical. Be patient and don’t be such a loser.




P.S: I am no expert on love and all and so I tried to cover this post with only the things which I have observed and which I think are definitely not love. 



Kash Kabhi Aisa Ho Jaye


काश कभी ऐसा हो जाए 
रिमझिम रिमझिम बारिश हो, ठंडी हवा के झोंके हो
धीमा धीमा सा प्रकाश और हरयाली के चेहरे हो 
काश कभी ऐसा हो
गरम शौल में लिपटे सा, हाथ में गरम प्याला हो
खिड़की के एक कोने से दूर कहीं कुछ दीखता हो
सहमा सा पानी में चलके, पास कोई आता हो
और हर गुज़रता पल यूँ अनजाना सा लगता हो
काश कभी ऐसा हो
भीगे पंची सा वो मेरे, दरवाज़े पे खड़ा हो 
नरम-नरम हवा के झोंके, बालों को सहलाते हो
कप-कंपाते भीगे होंठ और 'मासूम' सा चेहरा हो
दरवाज़ा खोल देखूं तो, वो लम्हा रुक सा जाता हो
काश कभी ऐसा हो
बारिश की पहली साँसों में, मिटटी की अंगडाई हो 
मौसम के फूलों की, खुशबू कहीं से आती हो
टिप-टिप की आवाज़ ख़ामोशी को, गहरा-गहरा कर जाती हो
सन्नाटे-सनते   हम दोनों, बेसुध हो कर बैठें हो 
काश कभी ऐसा हो

Kash Kabhi Aisa Ho Jaye
Rim-Jhim Rim-Jhim Baarish Ho, Thandi Hawa Ke Jhonke Ho
Dheema-Dheema Sa Prakash Aur Haryaali Ke Chehre Ho
Kash Kabhi Aisa Ho
Garam Shaul Mein Lipta Sa, Haath Mein Garam Pyala Ho
Khidki Ke Ek Kone Se, Door Kahin Kuch Dikhta Ho 
Sehma Sa Paani Mein Chalke, Paas Koi Aata Ho
Aur Har Guzarta Pal Yun, Anjaana Sa Lagta Ho
Kash Kabhi Aisa Ho
Bheege Panchi Sa Vo Mere, Darwaaze Pe Aa Khada Ho
Naram-Naram Hawa Ke Jhonke, Baalon Ko Sehlaate Ho
Kap-Kanpaate Bheege Hothon Aur 'MasooM' Sa Chehra Ho 
Darwaaza Khol Dekhoon To, Wo Lamha Ruk Sa Jaata Ho
Kash Kabhi Aisa Ho
Baarish Ki Pehli Saanson Mein, Mitti Ki Angdaayi Ho
Mausam Ke Pehle Phoolon Ki, Khooshbu Kahin Se Aati Ho
Tip-Tip Ki Aawaz Khamoshi Ko, Gehra-Gehra Kar Jaati Ho
San_naate Sante Ham Dono, Besudh Hoker Betho Ho
Kash Kabhi Aisa Ho






Are you chivalrous?


Once, a man opened the door for a woman. She, being women's-libber kind of a person said rather aggressively, "Did you open the door for me because I'm a lady?" "NO," replied the man, "I opened the door because I am a gentleman.”

We are social beings and the little things we do for others or that others do for us - the thank yous, the pleases - its sweet, it need not to be looked at with suspicion & need not clash with our ‘I am independent' thinking. I for example am a chivalrous kind of guy. No I am not self-praising but I really do like to help others. In a bus I get up when I see an elderly man / woman or pregnant lady needing a seat. I think if I'm young, fit and healthy, I don't need to sit down - therefore I see no reason why I shouldn't offer my seat to someone who needs it more than me. 
One time (I was a kid, probably in 1st/2nd class) we were going to our home town (Himachal) by bus. We (my family) all got our seats but after a while bus got crowded and there was a lady standing with her baby. So my dad offered her his seat. I thought it was a gentlemanly thing and it made me respect him even more. 
But good manners are lost somewhere these days. Small courtesies are extinct. I guess, it's a part of evolution. But evolution should make things better than before, right? I have seen men sitting in a bus while some lady/ elderly man is standing. I mean how would it look if a man jumps into the elevator ahead of a woman? Or an elderly man is carrying heavy bags and a man can’t even open the doors. I can never do this. I don’t care if my friends see this as a cheap trick to impress a girl because this is who I am and this is what I like to do. 
I've opened the doors for girls, or waited for them to enter the lift first, or let them go ahead first into a room, or pulled the chair, or paid the bill on our first meeting. I’ve even carried a heavy shopping bag or stood like a china wall between her & an unruly crowd in a bus or train. I‘ve not done all these things only for the sake of good impression but I’ve come out feeling good about such experience. It feels nice to be a gentleman. 

So what I'm trying to say is that:
Chivalry is a simple courtesy. And it’d work both ways: if somebody holds the door open for you say a ‘thank you’ in return. Chivalry & good manners should be in BOTH the genders. Wish the concept was not limited to the things men do for women but extended to include things that people do for ‘others’.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S: Actually I got the idea about this topic from my roomie Jasneet. We were out for dinner at a restaurant. I was carrying a bag and he kept the door open for me. It felt nice to be respected. I said thank you and we shared a smile. J So I guess chivalry can be practiced in the same gender also.
P.P.S: Just remember… be courteous ... and courtesy will follow you everywhere.